The Boys-kings Kevin, Brian, Nick, Howie and AJ-were originally five teenagers from Florida plucked from various high school classrooms (except Kevin, who was always Old As Shit) and turned into stars by the later-convicted Ponzi schemer Lou Perlman, who would also create NSYNC.

Fuck you, there’s not a lot to be excited about. Boy bands have always been a place for young people to project their enthusiasm, devotion and develop a closer sense of themselves, and yes, they’re also industry plants. People love to call things that young girls like stupid and problematic, along with the High School Musicals and Twilights and so on, but the truth is that everything is stupid and problematic. Even now, they’re still frequently dismissed as industry plants (which they are), unable to play musical instruments (which they rarely can) and being overly sexualzed, tempting our youth into oblivion and being set up for a life of disappointment after peaking at 16. From BTS all the way back to The Beatles and Motown, every generation is blessed with a carefully curated pile of teenagers styled exactly to the times. It’s impossible to overstate the importance a Boy Band of Choice means to a child. The set list is more or less identical to the show I saw on that fateful night in 2001, fresh into fourth grade with tickets my mom had put on her credit card for my birthday. There are skits (skits!) that could have used some punching up. Now the Boys are all over 40 save for original teen frontman Nick Carter, and it’s more clear than ever at their Las Vegas just-the-hits show that they are, in fact, five grown men from Orlando trying their best to dance.

They were the first 1990s boy band of note to have a truly global impact but never had a breakout star-the PG “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” boys to the hornier, less committed NSYNC-ers that were way less Christian and sometimes, gasp, thrust their crotches at the screen during music videos. The Backstreet Boys were not “the one Justin Timberlake was in,” nor are they still famous, making them the perfect candidates for a Vegas show.

I’m not saying I have a pathological fear my seeing of the Backstreet Boys causes large-scale disasters, but I’m not saying it doesn’t. And while we’re on the subject I’ll be honest with you a second, sadder time: to try and make up for it I saw the Backstreet Boys again on 4/20 in Las Vegas this year. I’ll be straight with you: the last time I saw the Backstreet Boys live in concert was September 10, 2001.

Tell me why backstreet boy live